Dear Mister Weasleys
by Bellamort500
Summary: A series of letters between Professor McGonagall and the Weasley twins.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys Please stop persuading first years to hug Professor Snape, its traumatizing for him and them while I'm on the subject of Professor Snape, Why are you two so fascinated about whether he can burp the alphabet or not?.  
Do not make me have to write to your mother to make you stop.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie Threatening to tell our Mother is very low of you, we always thought better of you, but I guess we were wrong and on the subject of Snape,  
it's good for him to be hugged and if he just told us whether he could burp the alphabet or not we wouldn't be fascinated about it anymore.

Sincerely Fred and George P.S how upset would Snape be if someone accidentally blew up his office?

Dear Mister Weasleys

Do not call me Minnie and accident or not if Professor Snapes office gets blown up he'd be very angry as would myself and the Headmaster as for me threatening to tell your mother, it wasn't a threat it was a promise.

Professor McGonagall

Author Note: next chapter will be longer 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys If I ever catch you trying to feed Mister Malfoy to the giant squid again you'll be cleaning the whole of Hogwarts with a toothbrush and if Professor Snape ever catches you trying to break into his private quarters again he'll be feeding you to the giant squid.

Don't forget you have detention this evening with me.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie Malfoy is a snot nosed Slytherin git who was making fun of our family and completely deserved what we did, our only regret is that you stopped the squid from eating him,  
as for trying to break into Snapes quarters we were only going to leave him a gift the ungrateful greasy bat.

Sorry we can't make detention this evening we're busy pranking Filch.  
Sincerely Fred & George

Dear Mister Weasley No matter what Mister Malfoy said about your family it did not give you the right to do what you did, Professor Snape is not a greasy bat and if you two don't turn up for detention I'll make you wish you'd never set foot at Hogwarts.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Professor McGonagall We just checked our diary and we're totally free this evening for detention also did you know that Professor Snape can only burp up to Q.  
Fred and George

A massive thank-you to susan sebest and Hermione Is My Role Model for reviewing 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys You've gone too far this time!, My whole classroom is covered in jelly and and melted cheese and why is my classroom covered in theses things?.  
Because you two thought it'd be hilarious to fill dozens of buckets up and throw it all over my Classroom.  
Don't even think about denying it.  
Was you, the portraits saw you.  
I will be writing to your mother about this and you'll be serving detention with Professor Snape for the next month.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie In our defence your classroom looks much better after what we did; please don't write to our mum isn't detention with Snape punishment enough without the howler we'll receive if you write to our mum.  
Have a heart.  
The awesome Weasley twins

Dear Mister Weasley Too late I've already written to your mother and I hope she does send you a howler maybe it'll teach you both a lesson, although knowing you two as I do I doubt it.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie You are completely evil and we'll never forgive you for writing our mum and we will have our revenge .  
Fred& George P.S we were the ones who started that rumor about you and Filch.

A massive thank-you to Hermione Is My Role Model 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys Did you really think I wouldn't know that it was you two who locked me and Professor Snape in his office?, because I do know and I find you two you'll wish you'd emigrated to the moon when through with you.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie Who told you it was us? And what are you most upset about being locked in with Snape or the lion?.  
Because we suspect it's being locked in a room with Snape.  
Fred and George P.S you'll never find our secret hideout

Mister Weasleys I'm upset about the lion and being locked in with it for four hours without being able to stun the thing because you two stole mine and Professor Snapes wand.  
Where did you get that lion from anyway?  
Professor McGonagall P.S Mister Jordan just told me you're hiding under your beds

Dear Minnie Hagrid got us the lion and when we find Lee we're going to feed him to the lion.  
Fred and George

A massive thank-you to Hermione Is My Role Model for reviewing 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

This chapter is for my most loyal reader and reviewer: Hermione is My Role Model Dear Mister Weasleys Professor Sprout has just told me, she caught you two trying to feed Mister Jordan to a lion.  
How could you two even attempt to do something as stupidly dangerous as that? I honestly thought you two had more sense, but I guess I was wrong.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie Lee told you about our secret hideout he had to be punished, so we could forgive his betrayal. Now onto the subject of our common sense we have absolutely none whatsoever and never will have.  
Sincerely Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys How is almost feeding someone to a lion a fitting punishment for them telling a Professor you two were hiding under your bed? And I can believe you have no common sense.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie You really don't understand us, we had to punish Lee with Lion because it was a symbol of his betrayal and its not like We'd have actually fed him to it.  
Mainly because you'd kill us horribly and partly because he's our friend Fred and George 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Minnie We think you did to lighten up a bit, being stern all the time has got to be unhealthy for you.  
So we think you should help us prank Filch, it'd be for your good and it'd be really funny to.  
Sincerely Fred & George

Dear Mister Weasleys I am not stern all the time, just around you two trouble makers and there is no way I am ever going to help you prank Filch.  
Why are you exactly Pranking Filch anyway?  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie We are not troublemakers, we just happen to be around when trouble happens and as to why we are pranking Filch, he confiscated our teddy bears Gred and Forge.  
Sincerely Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys I'll be seeing you detention tonight after you Prank Filch.  
Do not cause too much mayhem,  
because I'm the one who gets it in the neck if you do.  
Professor McGonagall

A massive thank-you to Hermione Is My Role Mode and dorina16able for reviewing 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys Have three questions for you, Why is my hair bright purple? Where is my wand? And Why is there a chicken in my room?.  
Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie Your hair happens to be purple because we thought it'd suit you, we think your wand is buried underneath the Gryffindor Quidditch stands and the chicken name is Daisy and she's gift for you from us.  
Sincerely Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasley Purple does in no way suit me, a chicken is a stupid gift and my wand better underneath the Gryffindor Quidditch stands.  
Professor McGonagall P.S two weeks detention for your stupid pranks

Dear Minnie Two weeks is really harsh, sometimes you're really mean to us which is not fair because we are always very kind and generous to you.  
Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys I have not nor I have been mean to you or treated you harshly maybe if you didn't cause trouble every five minutes I wouldn't have to put you in detention.  
Professor McGonagall

A massive thank-you to Hermione Is My Role Model and dorina16able for reviewing 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Misters Weasley,  
YOU ARE THE LIMIT! I swear, both of you are the most irritating teenagers I have ever met! I cannot BELIEVE you charmed all the Hogwarts suits of armour to sing the alphabet fifty million times over without stopping and to throw giant water balloons at first-years! Three week's detention,  
in my office, every evening starting from NOW!  
Prof. M. McGonagall.

Dear Minnie Blimey, lighten up will you? Three weeks' detention for a little thing like that? Come off it! It was a joke!  
Sincerely, your two favourite gingers

Dear Misters Weasley For your information, your "joke" flooded the entire third floor corridor! And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Minnie?  
M. McGonagall PS you are not my "two favourite gingers"!

Dear Minnie, You lie, we our your favorite gingers and you know you love the nickname Minnie.  
Fred & George P.S Did you know Snape gets really annoyed if you break into his rooms, steal his clothes and pretend to be his Mini me?.

Dear Mister Weasleys, I really don't want to know, how you know Professor Snape gets if you break into his rooms, steal his clothes and pretend to be his Mini me.  
Professor McGonagall.

A massive thank-you to my reviewers 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys,

The Headmaster wishes for me to inform you that if either of you ever break into the Slytherin common room and put poisonous snakes in there again, you'll both be going home so fast it'll make your hair curl.

Sincerely Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

The Headmaster is seriously overreacting about the whole situation. It's not like the snakes actually bit anyone and anyway he ought to be grateful it was only snakes instead of a dragon, which was what we were originally going to use.

Sincerely The most awesome people ever to have been born, Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys

The Headmaster is not overreacting in any way shape or form, you prank was dangerous and stupid an you're both lucky the snakes didn't bite anyone or both of you would already be back home.

Professor M. McGonagall

Dear Minnie

None of the professors an that includes you have a sense of humor,  
in fact we believe that if any of you actually cracked a smile your faces would break.

Fred & George

P.S if Snape tells you we broke into his room and posted pictures of Harry on every available surface he's lying.

A. Massive thank-you to my reviewers 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys,

I have just had Professor Snape in my office complaining that his first year Slytherins hair has been turned bright red with gold polka Dots.  
I know that both of you are responsible for the whole thing, see you in detention this evening.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

We already have detention this evening with Professor Sprout for letting fireworks off in green house three this morning, so regrettably you're going to reschedule our detention with you.

Fred & George

Dear Mister Weasleys,

I Do not have to reschedule your twos detention this evening because after your detention with Professor Sprout you two are coming straight to me.

Professor McGonagall.

P.S Why exactly did you let fireworks off in Herbology?.

Dear Minnie,

We never meant to set the fireworks off in Herbology the fireworks were for potions, but due to a clumsy Slytherin they went off in Herbology.  
So if anyone should be serving detention with Sprout it should be that little twerp not us.

Fantastic Fred and George the Great

Mister Weasleys,

Do not refer to a fellow student as a twerp and you rightly deserve the detention that you have with Professor Sprout and the detention that you have me.  
If you think before you act you wouldn't end up in detention as often as you both do.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie the Ninja Kitty

We do think before we act, we think lets cause chaos and then we do something incredibly stupid which results in us getting detention, but we're not bothered because we're totally awesome.

Fred & George

Mister Weasleys

Do not refer to as me Minnie the Ninja Kitty, you are only allowed to call me Professor McGonagall.  
Also you two are not totally awesome, you're both really annoying.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Professor Minnie the Ninja Kitty McGonagall,

we always have been and always will be awesome and no matter how much you deny it, you think we're awesome too .

Fred & George Weasley the most awesome people you know.

A massive thank-you to my reviewers 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Minnie

We want to make a complaint about the fact Filch follows us where ever we go on the grounds he thinks we are up to something, but as you know we're perfect little Angels so he's wasting his time and he's beginning to creep us out.

Sincerely Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys

You two are many things, but you are not perfect little angels and you're always up to something. As for Filch following you two know he's under strict instructions to do so after the hats incident.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

I think we're being judged over one tiny little thing which is completely unfair and anyway the hats didn't do that much damage.

Fred and George

Mister Weasleys

Three students are in counseling, the Slytherin common room is still in ruins and the Minster of Magic has sworn that he will never set foot in Hogwarts again. So yes those blasted hats did cause a lot damage.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

Would help if we told you that we when we charmed the Hats to life we didn't know they'd go and try eating everything in their path and that we had no idea that the minister of magic was coming to visit .

Fred and George

P.S we're sorry that a hat tried to eat you.

P.P.S We're not sorry the hats tried to eat Fudge, he's a annoying twerp

A massive thank-you to my reviewers and readers. 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys I have asked you several times not to encourage other students to cause trouble and yet you continue to do so. What do I have to do to get the message to sink in?.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

We got the message loud and clear along ago we just chose to ignore it on the grounds its funny to see other students getting into trouble.

Sincerely Fred and George

P.S we're about to convince a first year to blow up Filchs office, wish us luck.

Mister Weasleys

I swear to Merlin, if Filchs office is blown up I'm writing to your Mother and all three of us know what she threatened to do to you both if she got another letter from me.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie the blackmailing Kitty

Um… Filchs office has already been blown up, but to be fair it happened three seconds before we got your letter.  
So you cannot write to our mum.

Fred and George

P.S PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE DO NOT WRITE TO OUT MUM.

Dear Mister Weasley

I've written to Molly. So tough luck.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie the betrayer

We really do not like you at this moment and lemon taste sour.

Fred and George.

A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers. 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter.

Dear Mister Weasleys

When I got my hands on the pair of you you'll both wish that'd you never set foot in Hogwarts. In all my years at Hogwarts I have never met two students who annoy me as much as you two do.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

We gladly accept the title as most annoying students you've ever met. In fact we're going to charm it onto our uniform right now.

Fred and George

P.S what crawled up your butt and died?.

Dear Mister Weasleys

Nothing has "crawled up my butt and died" and twenty points from Gryffindor for writing such a thing.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

What we meant why are you so upset with us at this moment in time. Because we can't think of a reason why. Although that's probably because we haven't been thinking that hard.

Fred and George.

Mister Weasleys

Let me refresh your memories. You two wrote to parents of Muggle born students thanking them for letting their children participate in satanic rituals. All day I have been persuading parents not to take their children out Hogwarts and all your two faults.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

How'd you know that it was us who wrote those letters. It could have been have no proof it was us.

Completely innocent Fred and George.

Mister Weasleys

I do have proof. You signed the letters Ambassadors of Hogwarts Fred and George Weasley and then stuck photos of your faces to the back of the letters.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

Okay you have proof, but we have one thing to say in our defense We regret nothing and we would do it again in a heart beat.

We faked being innocent Fred and George

. A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers. 


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Dear Mister Weasleys

Tomorrow the school board of governors is going to be looking around Hogwarts which means you two are not to leave your dorm room under any circumstances. We don't need a repeat of last year.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

No fair. You know we enjoy the board of governors visits . Last year wasn't even our fault we weren't to know the polar bear was going to escape.

Fred and George

Dear Mister Weasleys

You shouldn't have even brought a polar bear into school in the first place but I wasn't referring to the polar bear I was referring to the fact that you called members of the board of governors and I quote "A bunch of a idiots who weren't fit to run a flea circus let alone sit around judging how Hogwarts is run".

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

We were not insulting them we were just pointing out the fact they were morons. Which is the truth and you know its the truth.

Fred and George.

Mister Weasleys

I refuse to comment on whether I the board of governors are morons or not.

Professor McGonagall

Dear Minnie

Your refusal to comment confirms our belief that you agree they're morons.

Fred and George.

A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers. 


End file.
